pixel carving…

minsan ba… naranasan mo na… ung girl na like mo, may possibility nang ikasal na sa future?
ung tipong, ok kayo as friends. if ever na maging kayo, no prob. nagji-jive kayo. nagkakasundo naman. nagkakaasaran pero walang tampuhan. walang pikunan. walang away. its like this kasi.. parang like ka rin nya. parang she also shows some interest..though in a way na..ok kayo as friends (kasi un nalang ang pwde eh) saka hearing some words from your friend na reason kung bakit kayo nagkakilala. kasi, alam mo un? tipong cya pa minsan babati. cya pa magyayaya kumain…in a friendly way. alam mo un.. tipong walang ilangan. basically, parang the two of you are just close plain friends. wala ung factor na parang like mo cya na tipong ang atmosphere ay nanliligaw ka or something at tipong nagpapaligaw naman cya. alam mo un. its not exactly that she is still entertaining you. because she knows that marriage is possible soon. and she’s not the one who’s like playing along. and also, alam mo naman in the first place na she’s taken. that she can be married next year. at ikaw ung tipong ayaw naman makasira sa isang relation. at ang intensyon mo lang is to be friends with her. knowing that there’s a possibility that she’ll get married, and the only thing that youre doing.. is… caring for her in the background. or even yet, loving her in the background. to make it short… both of you know the limits and the possibilities. both of you trying to stay away from possible corruption of present situations. thus, both of you only longing for a nice, meaningful and lifelong friendship.

tpos iisipin mo, wow… ikakasal na cya. thinking that you would be damn proud and happy for her. tipong… u cant wait to see her wearing a wedding gown. awww… siyettt… imagining how gorgeous she will be on that day. tipong u wanna cry for her on her wedding. and the reason for those tears is because of mixed emotions. of course, kasama na dun ung.. thought na.. u like her. then its her wedding day. its like u wanna fall down on your knees and be so much happy for this person knowing that she’ll be more happy with her soon to become husband.

i bet, hndi mo pa nararanasan un. maybe i am fortunate in such a way. coz i still do experience these types of events in my life. parang ang cute. parang ang sarap ng pakiramdam. pero parang ang sakit din in a way. kakaiba ung pakiramdam. its just like.. wow!

what if you were in my shoes…? what would you feel? kaso, hndi eh.. u’re already happy with someone. maybe this is one of the priceless things that a single person can enjoy. exploring life. experiencing different types of happiness, pain, different levels of emotions.. etc.

ohh well… its like, when that day comes.. i wanna buy a dslr camera with a good quality lens, flash accesories and take every seminar needed with alot of practice before her wedding day. and when that day comes… im gonna take a lot of solo picture of that girl in her wedding gown… in every beautiful angle. in every part of the church. and… afterwards… love her… thru her picture. and temporarily… get hurt for a while. thinking and realizing that each pixel of her would have a deep carve in my heart, my history and of course… my life! wherein tomorrow, everything is gonna be new. and yesterday is gonna be my past. hoping that when i wake up the next morning, i have already moved on. and again, start loving someone else who, in turn, will teach me another lesson to learn.

such a flavorful life… sigh…

~ by PRiSMz on June 1, 2008.