insomnia

is there such a thing as an immunity to reality?
if the only way to take away this pain is to take away my breath…
take it now… and give me a meaningful death…!

we always say that we want this person to be our last..
but how can we be so sure if we have always said this in our past?

we always get there…
problem is… we get lost somewhere
hoping and dreaming that things will be alright
but in every statement… it makes us awake all night!
trying to stand and willing to fight
in the end we usually have that person… out of sight!

that’s why if every good and sweet thing is just a dream…
i would choose to sleep forever
no matter how impossible it may seem…
i just want us to be together

stay awake… feel reality
feel the pain! coz its for eternity!
there is no immunity…
just plain purity!

would you stay awake and dream during the day?
while someone makes you realize that everything wont stay?
or just continue dreaming that you’re swaying
swaying with the one that keeps you smiling

sigh.. im dreaming while wide awake
thinking what’s at stake
all of this for love’s sake
so how can someone tell its fake?!

maybe i just need some sleep
as there are so many thoughts to keep
i wanna shout out what’s in me
but geezzz… i just cant set it free!!

can you just stop?!

why does it have to be this way?
you suddenly came in and tell that you wanna stay!
c’mon! can you just stop?!
just out of the blue you came out and pop!

can you please stop calling?!
she may still feel something
but she doesn’t want you anymore
can’t you realize?! you’ve already made her heart sore!

can you just stop sending messages?
can’t you think of the possible damages?
c’mon dude! i know you aint stupid!
dont try to call on cupid!

things ain’t gonna be the same
you should put yourself to shame
she stayed and loved you before
and are you gonna come back to give her more?!

could you just sit on your chair?
keep on dreamin’ alone and breathe some air!

i don’t want you in her life!
she’s no longer your wife!

leave her alone!
stop ringing her phone!

you have done enough!
do you need any other stuff?!

so what if she could still feel the old flame?
how sure are you that things wouldnt be lame?!
you made her sick of what you’ve done
i tell you.. this is no freakin’ fun!

i told you that you have done too much!
she no longer needs your touch!
why dont you just keep your eyes shut
you’re just like a knife giving her another cut!

it doesn’t mean that when you told her that you still love her
things will be back the way you both were
how do you think will the wounds heal?
do you think that things will be easy to deal??

for the last time… can you just stop?!
i’m tired seeing her like this!
can you just give her some peace?!
what can i do for you to let go?!
i’ll do anything just for our love to grow!

she’s no longer yours!
as she has already closed the doors!
no…! dont tell her that you still love her!
stop hoping that things will still be the same as they were!

can you just stop?!
i beg you, boi!
stop early if you don’t want me to destroy…
everything.. that you can still… enjoy!

fire me up! and wait til i get out!
don’t wait til i shout…
coz i can end yah without a doubt!

PAYASO

isang ngiti mo lang…
masaya na ako.
mapatawa lang kita
kumpleto na ang araw ko!

kung minsa’y mukha na akong gago
minsa’y ako na ay natutuliro
hindi alam kung ano ang gagawin
paano ba kita patatawanin?

minsan paulit-ulit
pasensiya na kung makulit
ayoko kasi makita kang malungkot
kaya pilit kong tinatanggal ang mukha mong nakasimangot

mukha na ba akong tanga?
sobra na bang kahiya-hiya?
gusto mo na ba akong patigilin?
o gusto mo nang umalis at hindi na ako pansinin?

hayyy… ang hirap naman nito!
pero ayos lang kasi heto ang gusto ko.
wala akong dapat ireklamo.
basta ba masaya ka, ok na ako!

hangad ko lang naman ay ang mapasaya ka…
at ang makita kang tumatawa…
heto kasi ang aking trabaho…
bilang isang… PAYASO…

missing you

i see you everytime i see someone in pink
it just makes me think
especially when i see someone your size
i always picture you in my eyes

i dont want you to get me wrong
because i find it difficult to look for a line in a song
the message sometimes aint exact
it cant tell the whole fact

You’ll gonna ask me if im alright
yes i am.. even if i’ll be awake all night
do You actually believe me?
aww.. c’mon.. im not crazy..

this aint any lyrics that we can search in google
it seems to be a riddle
but no its not
its a result of how the mind blows out
and what a heart can shout

what the heck is this? You might ask..
no… these words aint concealed with any mask
what You read is what You get
dont believe me? wanna bet?

im not sure if im still making sense to You
i know You’re still busy on the queue
am i giving You a hard time on this?
or should i just tell You that its You that i miss?

problema

kaibigan…
ako ay tinamaan…
nanaman!

malamang sabihin mo
hindi na ako natuto
para na akong gago
hindi na ako nagbago

ano ang magagawa ko?
mahal ko ang tao.
ano ang sasabihin mo?
alam ko na… “e di pigilan mo ang nararamdaman mo!”

pero tol, iba to!
mas kumplikado
hindi ko alam kung pano ko ikukuwento
pero tangina… parang ang labo!

sa ngayon, hindi pa niya alam na may alam ako
pero ewan ko lang kung balak niya ring sabihin ang totoo
hindi ko pa naman alam ang buong kwento
kaya ayaw ko rin magsabi sa kung kanino
kahit nga sayo, hindi ko masabi ng deretso

bakit pa ba kasi ako nagpatihulog
alam ko naman na mahirap ang sitwasyon
ako rin sa huli ang mabubugbog
waaahhh hindi ko alam!!! hindi pa kumpleto ang mga impormasyon!!!

nahahalata mo na ba kung gaano kagulo?
hindi ko pa naikukuwento ang lahat pero parang wala nang direksyon ang mundo
hindi ko alam kung kailangan ko ba problemahin
pero minsan kasi… hindi ko maiwasang isipin.

eto ang dasal ko sa amin
di ko nga alam kung ako ba ay Kanyang patatawarin
“Diyos ko, pwede Niyo po ba itong palagpasin?
susubukan ko na ito na ang huli kong kasalanan at pilit kong kakayanin…
O Panginoon, sana huwag Niyo po siyang hayaang umalis…
Mahal ko po siya at hindi ko matitiis.
Diyos ko, ako po sana ay Inyong patawarin…
Gagawin ko po ang lahat para hindi siya magalala sa akin.”
ayos lang ba ang aking dinadalangin?
ano pa kaya ang puwede kong gawin?

malamang magtataka ka… kung ano itong kasalanan na ito…
ano ang iniisip mo?
heto… bigyan kita ng palaisipan…
tingnan mo ang Sampung Utos at tandaan mo ang araw ng aking kapanganakan.

may idea ka na ba?
tungkol sa aking problema?
kung mayroon man…
sa susunod nalang natin ito pagusapan.

ayaw ko pa talaga magkwento sayo
saka nalang siguro
kung nakapagusap na kami ng seryoso
ang hirap kasi ng ganito
parang tinutuldukan mo na ang kwento
kahit hindi mo pa alam kung paano ito tumakbo

wag mo siyang sisihin o pagbintangan
ako ata ay nagtatanga tangahan
wala namang may kasalanan
lahat ng to, walang may kagustuhan
nangyari lang ang dapat mangyari
magiging maayos din naman ang lahat sa bandang huli
ako lang ata ang gumagawa ng sarili kong problema…
ewan ko ba.. para na akong tanga
hindi ko alam kung ano na ang aking ginagawa
natutulala nalang ako at namumutla
sana walang makahalata
atin atin nalang sana
kasi hindi naman kailangan pang malaman ng iba

sana huwag mo muna siya husgahan
unang una..dahil walang sino man ang may karapatan.
dahil kahit alam ng tao ang katotohanan
tangina! hindi sila Diyos para siya’y pagsabihan!

mga taong hindi mo alam kung tunay na kaibigan
kung makaisip sa kapwa parang malinis pa sa puting kapaligiran
kahit mga paring nagsesermon sa misa
kung makapagsalita parang kala mo wala silang maling nagagawa
tao rin naman sila at nagkakamali rin
sana naman ay maging ehemplo sila para sila ay sundin

pero halata namang kung magsalita…
parang hindi nila pinapahayag ang mabuting balita.
masasakit sila bumitaw sa mga biktima
kasi parang sila ay kinokondena
ito ba ay tama???
kaya nakakawalang gana minsan magsimba!
mga paring kala mo’y tutulungan ka umakyat sa langit…
pero ang totoo.. ang mga nagkasala ay naiipit!
nakakasawa na…
mga ibang tao talaga ay masyadong mapanghusga!
hindi kayo Diyos! mga tangina!
mga walang mga karapatan!
masyado kayong naglilinis linisan!

pasensiya na at nawala na tayo sa usapan
nadala ako ng emosyon at hindi ko na napigilan
sobrang umikot na kasi ung mundo ko sakanya
at lahat baka lahat na ng kabaliwan ay magagawa ko na

pinupuntahan ko siya sa opisina
kahit na mahirap at mukha akong tanga.
inaantay ko lang kasi siya makasakay ng taxi
kaya pag nakakasama ko siya, wala pang trenta minuto… oh diba? ang iksi!

muntik pa ako masubsob sa eskalator kakamadali
para lang makita siya at mag baka sakali
baka kasi mayaya ko kumain para makapagusap kahit sandali
at malaman ko ang lahat para wala nang ikinukubli

mahigit kalahating oras ang layo ko sa opisina niya
pero pinilit ko nun takbuhin ang madulas na kalsada
makasakay lang kagad sa tren
at abutin siya kasi baka ako makarating dun ng ten

badtrip! ano ang gagawin ko?!
malamang sabihin mo… “aba! malay ko!”
oo nga naman.. kasi hindi pa ako nagkukuwento.
kulang nalang sigawan ko sarili ko ng tarantado.

masarap masaktan
marami kang matututunan
kaso tanga ka na
kung inulit mo pa
pero ewan ko.. inulit ko ba?
hindi ko na kasi ata maalala…

gusto kong umiyak!
at tumawag ng uwak!
tara! inom na tayo ng alak!
tangina! ang saya ng buhay ko!
seryoso…
masaya to!
kaso kung mahina lang ako…
malamang… matagal na akong wala dito!

ang hirap ng ganito
nawawala ka na sa sarili mo
parang wala ka nang pakealam sa nangyayari sayo
kasi… siya na ang mundong iniikutan mo!

hahahahaha ayos ba tong ginawa ko?
hindi ko alam kung para sayo ito.
o kung para sakin lang talaga?
kasi sobra na akong natatanga.
o para sakanya talaga tong tula?
kasi siya ang dahilan kung bakit ako nakapaglathala.

hayyy… hanggang dito nalang muna.
kasi ako ay may ginagawa pa!
naantala na ang aking trabaho
pero ok lang… minsan minsan lang naman ganito!

Solid na pagkakaibigan,
walang kalimutan,
walang iwanan,
sama-sama sa lahat… pati na sa banatan!

here’s what i wanna tell yah girl

i wanna say i miss you
but i cant
i wanna say that you’ll stay
but i wonder what you’ll say

baby i think im fallin’
why do i feel my heart tremblin’?
you give me this unexplainable happiness
i just cant hide this from the rest

ohhh wow…
i think im crazy now
can you teach me how?
teach me how to stop now

i think you can notice my words
i think you can notice my actions
geezzz im too careless
it seems im entering another kind of mess

why are you so nice to me
you plainly make me happy
but i dont wanna think that you like me too
but why does it seem that we always wait for each other
and now making up with the wasted time

i smile when i see you
but do you smile the same way i do?
c’mon baby… im sorry
i know its not right but im fallin for you really

out of the blue i wrote this stuff
i should be doin’ somethin’ tough
answerin’ cases for the day
but here i am thinkin’ of you and here are the words that i wanna say

im fallin’ baby
but would it still be possible for you to catch me?

the words ‘i do’
just tears me in two

i dont want yah to think of your past
but things aint that easy as both of your words are written at last

damn… babe… if it were not for that ring
for sure i’d be doing another crazy thing!

can you just wear mine instead?
i promise…i’ll try that there will be no more tears to shed!

girl… you make me so happy
but how can things fit to a tee?
of course i want you to be free
im just so out of the ordinary
i need you to stay here with me
but things are just impossible to be that easy

can someone stop me?
i need to be free
but i just cant take my eyes off her
else, everything is in complete blur!

hold my hand… girl
and just let things swirl
let’s make the world revolve around us
and ride with the last passenger bus
leave everything behind as if there’s nothing to worry
it’s just you and me… no need to be sorry

im out of my league
im sure people will shower us with intrigue
i dont care.. im happy
but i also care for you baby
so let me wake up from this dream
i wanna scream!
help me release this steam!
i love you babe to the extreme!

help me, i wanna scream!
i wanna release this steam!
i love you, girl… this aint a dream!
i love you… to the extreme!

ano ba talaga?

ang hirap bitawan ang isang tao
lalo na kung natutunan mo na siyang mahalin
hindi mo alam kung paano mo bibitawan
ni hindi mo nga alam kung paano mo sisimulan

parang mayroon na nga akong ibang gusto
pero pangalan parin niya ang lumalabas sa utak ko
masyado na ako napapalapit sa isa
pero nasasaktan pa rin ako sa nauna

ganito ba talaga pag ikaw ay napamahal?
parang lagi nalang ako nauutal
hindi ko naman talaga siya gusto nung simula
ewan ko ba kung bakit ako bigla rin napatula

english nga sana ang gagawin ko
pero nahirapan ako
o eh ano ngayon?
ano ba kasi ang meron?

hindi ko siya mapakawalan
iniisip ko kung hindi ngayon, kailan?
hindi ko rin naman kasi malaman
ako ba’y mahal din niya talaga? ewan!

yun kasi ang mahirap sa babae
hindi mo alam kung ano ang gusto mangyare
sinusubukan ka ba talaga?
o nagpaparinig na.

kaya minsan hindi mo masabi
para kang aso na hindi matae
walang magawa kundi magantay
hanggang sa ikaw nalang ay maratay

ano ba ang kailangan kong sabihin sa kanya?
eh kung sabihin ko ulit sa kanya na mahal ko siya
sabihan naman nya, ako’y nagdadrama
ano ba talaga?

oo napamahal na ako
kaya nga hindi ko alam ngayon kung mukha na ba akong gago
umaasa… nagaantay…
taena… kailangan ba, ako muna ay mamatay?
iiyak kaya siya kung nakita niya ako na nakahandusay?
lalapit ba siya para sampalin ako?
para lang malaman kung buhay pa ako?
o pipilitin kaya niyang ibangon ako at ilagay ang ulo ko sa braso niya?
at tingnan kung ako’y humihinga pa?

bakit ba ganito ako magisip?
o siguro dahil sa ngayon.. eto lang ang aking trip?
pero… mahalaga kaya ako sa kanya?
o ako lang ay lubusan lang umaasa?
ano ba talaga?

kasi naman…. bakit ba kailangan magkaganito?
totoo naman ako magmahal ng tao
seryoso din naman ako
bakit kailangan mauwi sa pagkalito?
naguguluhan na ako!

ano ba talaga?
mahal nga talaga kita!
eh ako? mahal mo ba?

malamang kung mabasa mo eto…
sasabihin mo nanaman sakin… ANG DRAMA!
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!
taena!

ano ba talaga?
gusto ko nang makawala..
pero di ko magawa!
ako ay nalilito naaaaaa!!!!

ano bang gusto mong gawin ko?
para lang mapaniwala ka na eto’y totoo
ipagsigawan ko sa tao?
bakit hindi…?! maniwala ka lang… ok na ako!

para na akong tanga
paulit ulit.. parang sirang plaka
ano ba talaga?
mahal kita! ayaw mo ba maniwala?

untitled

if dreaming would be the only way
for you to stay
with me by my side
i would wish to sleep forever
and always say never
to wake up so i can ride
with the things easier and better
just like continuously reading a love letter

am i still making sense?
do you still get what im saying?
i dont know if im in the right tense
what am i portraying?

im not thinking of anything right now
but im asking how
how can i release the thoughts in my head
i wish i can let go of it before im dead

things are clouding my mind
and i cant feel anything from behind
floating astray
looking for a better way
to where i can go from here
trying to face my fear

looking at nowhere
at a pitch black background is where i stare
breathing
thinking
listening
whats hap’nin?
is my world still spinnin’?

its one o’clock
still awake and waiting for my world to rock
everything seemed to stop for a moment
did someone put cement?

someone is nudging from behind the screen
with two gummy bears red and green
there are messages that are still unread
why wouldn’t i stop this first with my aching head?
so i can know whats hap’nin
but would it make a difference and make my world start spinnin’?

i start to scratch my head
what do you think she said?
i think i dont want to read it
i just want to write more and just sit
on a lousy computer chair
and think of something that seems fair

lis’nin to a song
i want to know what’s wrong
is it a sin to ask for a miracle?
im just hoping that everything is just an obstacle

why are they like that?
they all seem unfair
when would they give us a fair share?

lis’nin to a song
that i gave her some time before
its not that long
but it means a lot more

she’s the one who made me write again
only difference is that im not using a pen
what the heck?!
does that even matter?
so what if im using notepad?
stop it before i get mad!

Princess of Disguise
the song that’s playin
im not sure what’s the meanin
but it sure is somethin

i dont know what state i am in
i want to kill myself with a pin
wait.. do i need to drag this file to the recycle bin?
coz im talking nothing and it wont make me win

what’s with this?
would a reader understand what im sayin?
coz even i dont know what’s being written
or am i just badly beaten?

butterfly knife
the song of yesterdays life
i want to use this and end it all
i wanna break this wall
before my world will fall
would i end up devastated? and just crawl?
crawl away to oblivion
if that is the only solution

i dont know anything
about what’s happening
where can i get some light?
to my answers as dark as night?

i am still young
with a sharp tongue
where would i go?
and how would i grow?
im lost
just like a ghost
who came from nowhere
and im going to get lost in thin air

your favorite song is playing again
and the question that’s on my mind is when
its the song that you want to be played on your wedding
i just wish for a happy ending

i got disconnected
is this even related?
im gonna read the messages now
could you please tell me how?
i dont know what to say
but i wish she’d stay

here i go
but wait
what’s my fate?
i fear the words that im gonna read
Lord please help me…im in need

sentimyento ng isang kaibigan

uso na nga ata talaga ang mga litrato ngayon
hindi tulad noong unang panahon
kailangan mo muna ipadevelop bago mo masulyapan
kasalukuyan, ito’y hindi na kinakailangan

ito ang sentimyento ng aking kaibigan
na may kasintahan
pero napamahal sa larawan
sana’y hindi siya maguluhan

ang tao sa litrato na pangkaraniwang pinagmamasdan
kala mo hindi totoo at sa panaginip lang mahahagkan
parang imposibleng makilala, makausap o kahit man lang kulitin
pero paano kung makita mo siya sa personal… ikaw ba kaya’y papansinin?
tila’y pangarap nalang talaga kung tutuusin.
kaya ang litrato nalang niya ang maaaring mahalin.

kaso nung minsan… sa isang mensahe, siya ay sumagot!
kasiyahan ay biglang bumalot
sa isang taong sobra nang nababagot
kaya ngayon siya’y hindi na malungkot

buti nalang aking naalala
na may pagasa pa na makilala
ang tao na aming iniidolo
sa isang pagtitipon kailangan lang pala naming dumalo
kaso malabo makita sa personal
kasi ang Mhaezthro ay nasa malayong lugar at ang paguwi ay sobra pang matagal.

‘yahoo!!!’ ang sigaw namin!
para bang droga kung patuloy naming iisipin!
yehey! at bilang nalang sa daliri ang araw
sana’y Sabado na para siya ay aking madalaw

nabuhayan ang aming loob
dahil ang litrato na aming nasisilip
ay parang isa lang panaginip
pero totoo pala siya
kaya kami ay ubod ng saya

parang mga batang bibigyan ng bagong laruan
na para bang makikipagaway kung hindi napagbigyan
sabik na sabik na sa araw ng pagtitipon
sana ang pangako ay hindi sa lupa maibaon

litrato lang ang kanyang hinihiling
gagawin ang lahat kahit sa kalsada’y gumiling
matupad lang ang pangarap na makuha ang litrato
na galing sa kanya mismo
at may bonus pang dedikasyon… “para sayo Mhaezthro!”